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Sunday, October 24, 2021
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Sunday, October 24, 2021
My baby book is filled with many treasured images but I tend to linger over certain ones more than others. One of those is a picture of a long-limbed, bespectacled man sitting with a book in one hand and a baby girl on his lap. His left hand easily encompasses the book; a thick sci-fi paperback, while the other wraps protectively around the head of the snoozing infant. This image is one which has always personified peace in my eyes…
If you’ve been paying any attention, you’ll note that I am that snoozing infant (apparently not much has changed). But who is the long-limbed, bespectacled man?
His name is Vernon Gene Kooi – aka Vern, aka Dad, aka Grandpa.
MY Grandpa.
Dysfunction is present in many, if not all, families to a certain degree. Growing up, my grandfather on the paternal side of my family was a very toxic individual. Because of this, I was thankfully removed from his influence around the age of 5 or 6 before too much damage could be done. Therefore, the role of ‘grandpa’ in the lives of the Hunt Girls fell solely on the shoulders of Grandpa Kooi…and he rose to the challenge.
My grandpa was a tall man – 6’2″ – with a brilliant mind and a dry sense of humor. He loved to tease and tickle – all he had to do was grab your knee and you’d be incapacitated with laughter. A patented tactic of his was to remain very, very still when we attempted to retaliate…and then all of a sudden…SNAP! He’d grab us with his strong hands in order to blow raspberries into the back of our necks. When Grandpa found something hilarious, his blue eyes took on this certain twinkle and they started smiling before the rest of his face followed suit. When Grandpa laughed, you laughed – even if he was laughing at your futile attempts to escape him and his tickling (and I’ll tell you; laughing so hard you can’t think straight makes it quite difficult to escape!)
My grandpa’s standard apparel was jeans, a long-sleeved flannel, white undershirt, black socks, white sneakers, a belt, and sometimes suspenders too. In his shirt pocket, he kept a white handkerchief (which occasionally moved to his jeans pocket), a little flip notebook, a writing implement, and a small black comb. The notebook had many uses…but the one I remember was for writing down answers to Wheel of Fortune. The small black comb was not just used for his hair…but also the hair of any lucky cat who’d snuggle up with him while he’d read a James Patterson novel.
My grandpa was born on January 7th, 1937, in Milwaukee, WI. His parents, Everett & Rosella Kooi, had three sons; Grandpa being the eldest. His middle name, Gene, is in memory of the brother he never got to meet, as the fourth Kooi boy died in infancy before Grandpa was born. My grandpa was a veteran of the United States Air Force, something that I wish desperately that he and I could have talked more about. When he married Carol Ann Fossum in 1960, he was working as an electrician with the AC Spark Plug Company. Two years later, they had my mother and several years after that, my aunt. Somewhere in between that time, Grandpa started working for IBM – and since the joke is that it stands for “I’ve Been Moved”, my mom was no stranger to moving around…Wisconsin, Illinois, Connecticut, New York, and then, finally, North Carolina.
Vern Kooi was the reason that my mom grew up in church. Raised Lutheran, my grandpa made sure that his family went to church every Sunday. After they moved up to Virginia and before he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, he was always up at the church – using his computer skills to serve the staff by keeping their equipment in tip top shape. I still remember when I was younger and would come to stay for a week or two…after church, Grandpa would vanish into the office while Grandma socialized. Sometimes we waited a while for him so that we could go home…but I can still see the smile on his face right as he said his goodbyes and headed out to us. My guess is that acts of service were pretty high on Grandpa’s love language list.
Vern Kooi is the reason that I have such a love for musicals. You see, he was the big music lover of the family…I was told that he had quite a record collection during the time my mom was growing up. Many of those records were musicals…and when they lived close enough, Grandpa would take the family to see the shows that were playing in Chicago/New York at the time. It brought him great joy….and he passed that joy down all the way to us. When we caught the theater bug in 2013, he came to as many of our shows as he possibly could. I always tried to find him in the audience; he was so much fun to watch! One show, in particular, the opening song was “Belle” from Beauty and the Beast. Yours truly had the privilege to play Belle and there was a moment where I had to lean down and show my book to someone in the audience. Well, that night Grandpa was in the audience….and seated right on the end of one of the front rows. So I rushed right over to him for that section and got to sing the whole thing staring straight into his twinkling eyes. Those twinkling eyes also appeared when I’d be washing the dishes at the lake. See, I didn’t just stand there in the silence; no, I’d sing…usually songs from musicals (because at the time, I could sing through certain albums in order and usually at the end of that album, I would have finally gotten through the pile of dishes). However, I started noticing as soon as I was done and turned around, Grandpa would be standing there at the counter with a slight smile and tears in his eyes….after that, I started making a point to sing his favorites; Phantom of the Opera, Les Mis, and Yentl. When my grandparents came to see Little Women, it was the look of pride on his face at the end of the show that I will never forget as long as I live….
Vern Kooi was a man who loved a good puzzle. I remember distinctly arriving at their house and creeping down the stairs to surprise him as he intensely focused on the puzzle spread out over the round table. Unfortunately, the stair creaked; so my cover was blown…but his smile still made it worth while. Whenever my sisters and I pull a puzzle out, it makes me think of him. Grandpa also used to play cards with me – my favorite was War; mostly because we would fly through a deck of cards so fast it had us both in stitches by the end of the game. His other favorite game was Mahjong on the computer. The only reason I enjoy it is because I remember sitting next to him as he played.
So many memories…if I tried to type them all, it would likely take years. It already took a year for me to get this much down…but for another reason entirely.
Vernon Gene Kooi left this earth on August 10th, 2020, at 83 years old. The last decade of his life was filled with struggle, as he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease in his seventies. It is an awful disease with absolutely no predictability. It took a tall man and bent his strong body in half, rudely invaded his thoughts halfway through conversations, and pulled him away from all of the hands on tasks he loved so well.
“Hey there, Squirt”
Becky, Grandpa, and the baby gate
He was my favorite person.
The one guy whose love I never questioned.
I doubt I will ever stop missing his presence.
But I have faith that Grandpa is perfectly happy in the Presence of Jesus…
He’ll be there beaming, blue eyes a’twinkling, when I finally make it Home.
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T.H. posted a condolence
Tuesday, August 11, 2020
Vern was to me a true and faithful Dad. He gave of himself freely and without the slightest agenda but to serve others. He cared sincerely for his family, friends, and Church. He loved his Savior Jesus Christ and is at home with Him now. I will continue to miss you, venerable one, until I see you again on the other side of the Jordan.
